It's Me, Not You

If you've ever been in a relationship that wasn't quite going the way you planned it, and the person was great, but just not what you wanted or needed, you may have had to utter that dreadful line, "It's me, not you." Everyone knows what is next, but you try to salvage some type of friendship from the whole ordeal because you just don't want to crush that person. I've recently experienced this in business. I met with a potential client, spent 2 hours (on which was supposed to be an hour visit) discussing some of the areas they wanted to grow in. I made certain to choose my words wisely, because I love what I do I sometimes offer unpaid advice. I informed them during my initial phone conversation how the process worked. I would visit them once to have an initial one hour conversation, and then return at a later date to offer them a proposal of areas of improvement. I reiterated the process once more before I left their office and headed out the door feeling very positive about the prospect of working with this non-profit organization. I spent exactly one week on their proposal, so that I could get it back to them as soon as possible, and before the week was out I called to schedule our next appointment. There was no answer, as well as no return phone call. I felt like I had been stood up for my senior prom. Instead of driving by the clients office and egging their building (like a stood up high school girl would do), I instead used this opportunity as a time to reflect on what could have possibly gone wrong. 

1. Did I devalue my time?

2. Did I not address every concern?

It is possible to show someone you are not valuable because you do not stick to your own time line. If the appointment was for an hour, then I should have shut it down after an hour. Staying for an additional hour lets the client know that you either don't have any other appointments, or if you do you are so desperate to get their business that you are not concerned with other appointments. If you are not concerned with your time and other appointments, then perhaps you will show this same lack of care regarding handling their organization. So now what? Well, this lesson just cost me a weeks worth of work, but the cost could have been greater. Lesson learned, next time I will monitor my time more carefully. This too must be handled with great care. It is in poor taste to keep looking at one's watch during a meeting, but there are other ways to manage this. I will just put that smart phone I purchased to use.

There were several questions asked during the course of our meeting, that touched into some of the items I include in the initial proposal. While I wanted to address every concern, the person seemed to have no regard for my livelihood. If I gave him everything up front, there would be no substance left to include in the proposal, he wouldn't need me and he would attempt to complete all the tasks I charge a fee for. I'm all for having a discussion regarding your business, and offering free advice and perhaps building a networking relationship with our businesses, however there is a difference between taking advantage and just shooting the breeze. I politely touched on some concerns, and then reminded the person why I was there. To gather information and come up with solutions to their problems. He seemed entirely pleased with my answers, and I don't believe myself to be a poor judge of character. My years spent at Cal Poly Pomona struggling to get a degree in communications (before getting smart and heading off to a private university) provided me with some knowledge of how to read people. If it were a game of poker I would have lost. My bruised ego would not allow for me to call another time, but I did anyway, still my call went unanswered. Sometimes I can't wait until camp season again, so I can refocus on Orangeview Family Services youth camps for teenagers with behavioral challenges. Working with the teenagers over the past summer, may have been easier than working with adults that are business and organization leaders.