What happens when you are no longer "in love?" If all married folks would keep it real, we fall in and out of love on a daily basis. No one mentions that at some point the butterflies are gone and dead, the conversations are dry and short, and the person you once had on a pedestal has fallen from grace and landed among the common folk. I will keep it real for you then, if no one else has. Being married sucks!!! There, I said it! I love George more than I can imagine, and just when I think I couldn't love him anymore than I do, we wake up another day and I love him more, but dang it I loved being single! We all want what we can't have, but when you are really doing marriage right, it's a lot of work and sacrifice. As a stubborn independent person, I now have to back down at times and let my husband take the lead, even if that means leading us in the wrong direction. I have had to learn to speak to him in a way that he doesn't hear nagging, but kindness and concern. I am a very direct person, if I say the sky is blue, it's not code for how does my new hair cut look or do these jeans make my butt look great, I really mean the sky is blue. I find myself having to learn a different language so that my husband understands me, and I understand him. Some days, we are unwilling to make the necessary sacrifices to put each others needs as a high priority. For example, I had planned a date night, and I talked about it all week. I was soooo excited. I did my hair, I picked the perfect outfit and accessories, I found somewhere for Dorian to go, I was ready. George hates going out. He doesn't like the movies, he hates eating at restaurants, it's like pulling teeth whenever we go somewhere. As a result I usually end up taking my best friend Shayla out instead of him. I gave him a week to get ready. The day arrives, and he cancels over $3 in gas. I couldn't have felt worst if I were a 3 year old with a broken windmill and stolen sucker. What he really was upset over was I had used his juice to make some punch the week before. He asked me to replace the juice and I couldn't find it, so I bought four different types of juices for him, three of which he doesn't drink. In the 7 years we've been together, he's always done the shopping. He only buys what's on sale, and I never noticed he didn't buy these three types of juice. He was too upset and selfish to discuss it with me, and I was too hurt to care why he was acting the way he was, after all, he knew how much date night meant to me. Refusing to be stood up for senior prom again (another story for a later blog entry), I called Shayla, got dressed and drug myself out the house. He made a pitiful attempt to call me, but still upset over his juice, he was in no mindset to discuss anything for real. Now upset myself, I refuse to hear anything other than I'm sorry, and on my way to meet you. Our date never happened, and still no apology, so how did we move on? Did we move on?
.... to be continued.
.... to be continued.
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