On the move and out of the fog

I'm so excited about moving back to Perris! Okay really, who gets excited about moving back to Perris unless you live in San Jacinto/Hemet (laughing, but quickly returning to a serious face). It's not the 6 bedroom 3 full bathrooms 3,006 square foot home we moved out of prior to moving to OZ, but it is perfect...for now. It's exactly what we are looking to do with our own land. It's a nice 3 bedroom 2 bath country home tucked away high in the Gavilan Hills of Perris overlooking the city lights below as well as the snow covered mountain tops of the San Bernardino and San Jacinto Mountains (on a smog free clear day). There is a covered patio outside the master bedroom where I can enjoy my mornings with a cup of coffee and MacBook, watching the quails, road runners, blue jays and other small aviaries run across the 100% gated 5 acre lot. It's country enough for George, and I get to be a live like I'm country while still being only 15 minutes away from my nail shop and the nearest Macaroni Grill. Because it's completely fenced in, I can let Dorian go outside and not worry about him. Did I mention there is a jacuzzi tub in the master bedroom? The office space George and I will share is much larger than the tiny room we are attempting to squeeze into now. However, we have already agreed that if I decide to take over the large dining room, that is an option as well. There is a center island in the kitchen with barstools, so we may just use that as our table (as I have finally convinced George to throw out his bachelor dining table). My men are extremely messy, and having them eat in an area that has cream colored carpet, is a clean up job I'm not willing to take on.

I'm looking forward to not hearing my neighbors wash their clothes, the sound of only one child screaming & playing, rather than 20, and the relaxation of country living. Over the past three months I've developed chest pain. I've seen specialists, my doctor, had tests done, been placed on a heart monitor, and none revealed what George and I already knew, I was under too much stress. Every time my phone rang my heart would began to jump and I experienced shortness of breath. I was losing passion for my businesses and everything else in life. I wasn't me, I was this version of me I had created to accomplish all these tasks and remain sane.

My Pastor wanted to give me 30 days off from my duties in the ministry in order to allow for a time of rest and focus. It took less than 30 minutes after our conversation regarding the time off, for God to remind me of what I needed to do and what he had instructed me to do several months prior. There were some additional tasks in life I had set aside in order to regain focus and passion that should have never been set aside, like school, my family and my businesses. Sure in September I predicted this coming. I said in my postings how tired I was, yet I never took the time off (and the week spent in Mississippi visiting George's family was not time off because I had to still attend online classes). I needed some true time off. I have found the break in the storm, and instead of filling it with extra "stuff", I exercised my right to say that simple word that we often feel we cannot say in fear of hurting someone's feelings, "no." How would I get myself from under the multitude of tasks that I handle daily? I began delegating some things, and some things I just let go altogether.... and wow, the world continued to spin! I spent more time with my husband and son. I cleaned my house for a change and actually folded the clean clothes rather than leaving them lying on the couch. It was only when I stopped to breathe that I was even able to find another place for us to live. The deal was solidified in a matter of 48 hours. I called the man, we went to see the place, I went back the next day handed the man a check for $500 to take down all the signs soliciting other interested parties, and we set a date to move in.

When God calls us to do something and we accept the calling, he expects us to change our name to Nike and "Just Do It!"

Lean not unto your own understanding....

When you lose the ability to be heard, it is often our natural response to yell. While I mean this literally, this can be metaphoric as well. You have that square peg that you are just trying to force in the round hole, and it won't fit so you push harder - this is your version of yelling. Sometimes when you are not being heard, it's best to remain silent. You've said all you can, it hasn't been received, so you just smile and say "live." One thing I am certain of, is if a person lives long enough they will eventually discover what you were talking about.

I spent hours discussing something with someone and she had zero understanding of what I was telling her. I prayed and asked God to give me better examples to help her understand, and He kept the examples flowing until 2 am the next morning. Finally when I was ready to go to sleep, I asked God why didn't this person understand what I was explaining to her, God simply replied "because you are not the giver of understanding, I am." It goes without saying, but I spend less time trying to get people to understand things these days. I explain, I explain again and then I direct them to the giver of understanding.

This is what we do in life. In our businesses, in our relationships, in our daily tasks. We wonder why things are not fitting, it's because we are forcing them to fit where they don't belong. God has spoken to us and told us to let go of toxic relationships and we are trying to force them to work. We have seen time and time again the evidence they are not for us, and we still force them. I no longer feel obligated to communicate with people who are not sent in my life to better it. This includes relatives as well. I love them all, but some I have to keep at a distance. Their drug and drinking habits will not permit me to walk in my full purpose if I surround myself with such nonsense. We force relationships because we feel obligated to do so. What is our reasoning behind forcing ourselves to walk outside of our purpose? Comfort, fear of the unknown? If you stood in a quiet library loudly yelling at the librarian asking for assistance, everyone would look at you strangely. Imagine how strange you look to God when he knows what you are supposed to be doing, you know what your supposed to be doing, but you are not moving forward to accomplish what is set before you. Certainly God is well aware, just as I am, what you are called to do seems overwhelming. Start with what educators call Task Analysis. That is to break down a large task into small teachable components so that it's much simpler to understand. Write down your vision, then dissect it into smaller parts. Pray over it and ask God for clarity and understanding. As smart as you and I are, we don't have all the answers.
Don't allow 2010 to sneak out of here without having accomplished great things. It's already February, so get started immediately!