What you are called to do, you are equipped to do!

When you find your purpose in life, you discover you have a passion to do what you are called to do. Finding your purpose and passion doesn't mean you find motivation. If we look at history, Moses himself had quite a list of objections as to why he could not fulfill his purpose. With each objection God responded with a solution. While it may seem a little odd from the outward perspective, the idea someone would argue with God regarding what he has called them to do, we all have objections to why we feel we are not able to pursue our purpose/visions/ideas. I'm not smart enough, I don't have enough degrees (my personal favorite), who will listen to me, I don't have the start-up capital. The bottom line is, what we were called to do, God has already equipped us to do it! There is a solution to each objection we may have, we just have to be patient to seek out the answer, or bold enough to just move forward with the vision.

There are two reasons why we fail in life, and as simple as that may sound when reflecting on my own business choices I realize this formula rings true. We fail because we are either not faithful to something or not called to it. I told you it was simple. Look at failed relationships, job opportunities, educational goals, even businesses. When you are called to something there is no escaping it, every road leads back to your purpose. You will either embrace it and be satisfied in life, or attempt to ignore it and spend your life running around fulfilling fruitless dreams. Your purpose will typically help build others in some form or fashion, as we were not put here to be islands to ourselves. You will build something that others will enjoy, use, need, or require to help fulfill their purpose. Pursuits that only fulfill you will leave you feeling useless. It's only when we help others that we grow.

After making several excuses as to why I couldn't march forward in my businesses, I am reminded that what I am called to do in life cannot be ignored. All the challenges I faced of not being enough had to come to a halt if I plan to be successful at all. There is a difference between furthering your knowledge base and sharpening your mental skills to perform the task which you are called to do, and just sitting down altogether. I'm looking forward to pursuing the three things George and I are focused on in this season; business, family & real estate. Choose three items to focus on in the first quarter of 2010 and passionately pursue those three items. If you have more than 3 items, push off the extras until the second quarter. Having too many things to do, will cause you to lose focus. Write those three items down and put them on your bathroom mirror. When you wake up in the morning review them and make sure your daily tasks put you closer to your goals. You will find yourself leading much more productive days rather than stuck at the starting line finding all the reasons why you cannot fulfill your purpose.

Keeping in Mind the Reason for the Season

JESUS, hello!!!! Dorian is six years old, and there is no time like the current to reinforce the real reason behind the Christmas season. Making him aware of the true reason prevents his little heart from being broken when he doesn't see that $269 portable PSP under the tree. Most of his friends have them, and while we are blessed enough financially to buy him one, really what is the point. Most people blasted Bill Gates for stating he was not leaving most of his estate to his children. He worked for his estate, and encouraged them to do the same. (Let's be honest, if he left only 25% of his estate to his offspring, they'd be well taken care of). While we do not have the wealth of Bill Gates (currently, anything is possible), being frivolous with finances is not an area of concern for us. You will find that most wealthy and successful business people have a handle on where to invest their monies, and portable PSP's are not necessarily one of them. If he saved up his allowance throughout the year (after giving 10% of it in tithes) and he had enough to purchase items for others and had enough left over to purchase a PSP, then fine, but that is not the case. At 6 years of age, he has yet to grasp the true value of money. If you give him $1, he'd play with it and talk about how he had a dollar, then eventually lose it if he wasn't made to put it in his money jar in his closet. Some of you parents are shaking your head right about now, because you're still stuck a few sentences back on how he must give, then give to others some more. Well let me help you with this principle found in the Bible in Luke chapter 6, verse 38 the first word to reaping blessings is to GIVE! This is a principle that not only Christians understand, but wealthy people in general. Look at Oprah, Bill Gates, etc. They often donate to charitable causes. We are teaching our son the best way to position himself to be blessed and extremely wealthy.

As the director of Orangeview Family Services, I experience an array of teenagers with an entitlement mentality. They feel their parents are required to buy them iPods, cell phones and PSP's. The parents send them to me wondering what the heck happened to their children, all they ever wanted to do was provide them with all the things they never had. What we forget is that all the things we didn't have, kept the dream alive to work hard to pursue those "things." Growing up in my household, and income of $800/month was considered good, and an 800 square foot apartment in the ghetto was a big place. Today we are temporarily living in an 1,100 square foot townhouse while awaiting the finalization of the purchase of our home and it's driving George and I crazy. The wonderful thing is that it allows Dorian to experience a little of the humble beginnings George and I experienced, as well as strips him of the entitlement mentality. He recognizes his birthday is his day. We purchase more gifts for his birthday than for Christmas. We don't get caught up in the commercialism of Christmas and the holiday madness, we keep it in perspective to the true reason for the celebration of this time. This helps to not only develop some understanding with our 6 year old regarding the holidays, but also helps to keep him grounded. Don't get me wrong, there are several things from our childhood that we just refuse to subject our son to. Like going hungry. Because George and I were limited on the types of cold cereal we ate as children, we now keep a minimum of 25 boxes of cereal in our cabinets from adult cereals like Raisin Bran to fruity kid favorites like Fruity Pebbles..... and Dorian won't eat any of them because he doesn't like cereal (go figure). The one thing we don't deny, is if we hadn't gone through the trials of our childhood, we would not be who we are today, and we want to raise a son with strong moral fiber.

So don't feel bad if you don't have the money to go crazy with spending this Christmas. There is no time like the present to begin to teach your children the true meaning of Christmas and eliminate the "entitlement mentality". If you do have the money, save it or give it away to a less fortunate family this year, spending less on your own family, and find yourself feeling better than ever as well as positioned for prosperity.

How It All Began... and then some!

When George and I first met, it was love at first sight.... for him! I was fresh out of Air Force Basic Military training, and the single parent of a one year old who depended solely on me for food, clothing and shelter. After months of unsuccessfully attempting to find a job after the military, I decided my own business was the only solution. I started with insurance. The course was 6 days long, it cost me $700, but I was told the investment would be well worth it. George walked in the fourth day, late (which I have now learned is his unfortunate character flaw). He had on a full motorcycle suit (okay so I was watching, but how many black men wear a full motorcycle suit in Anaheim, CA?) and a scarf still tied to his head with his helmet under one arm. I purposely positioned myself in the classroom farthest away from the entrance, so no one would sit next to me to try to talk to me. He stood in the door (as I silently chanted, "don't sit next to me, don't sit next to me.") and looked in my direction and walked entirely across the classroom in front of the instructor and class and sat in the empty seat next to me at a table that only sat two people. As he sat his helmet on the table, I was not impressed by his confidence at all, not to mention I was on a mission to pass the insurance test the first time only, as I needed to work ASAP because my savings was quickly being depleted. He looked me up and down, and then let out a sort of cave man grunt of approval which totally turned my stomach sideways. Over the course of the day he struck up conversation.

I had already made a decision in my mind if he asked me for my number or if I was dating someone that I would not give it to him. I detest lack of creativity, it to me is a sign of weakness and if you cannot figure a simple way to reinvent the common pick-up line, you aren't "man enough" to claim my phone number. As a single mom, I had no time in my schedule for dating. He must have heard my silent ramblings because on the second day, he asked if I liked motorcycle riding and perhaps he could take me sometime. He catered to the "tomboy" in me, low blow, but he won the number for cool points. I made him wait the last day of class to get the number, because I wanted no phone calls or distractions during the course of my class. The last day at 8 am, I didn't expect George to be there, he was late every morning. But 10 am rolled around, then 11 am, then 12 noon and no George. I thought to myself, that is why he didn't need my number because he wasn't serious. 12:30 pm, he comes strolling in. A few of the other women in the class were impressed by his, what I now call "super suit" (motorcycle suit) and his confident walk like he ruled the world, so they asked him where he had been. Apparently his motorcycle went dead so he pushed it for several miles in attempt to make it to class to get my number. When that got old, he took the battery out, walked to Autozone to have it charged, walked back to the bike to put the part back in, then rode the bike the remaining way to class. Okay so it's starting to sound like a real love story right? I give him my number (it was years later he admitted to the great details involved with getting to class that day) and we began our phone relationship. I was very protective of Dorian, and I had a new business to start up. Not to mention I had finally had the courage to stop forcing a relationship between Dorian biological DNA donor and Dorian, and didn't want to get into anything at the moment. I told George he had two things counting against him, one he was from the south, which meant he would want me to cook a lot, and two he was a Marine, which meant he was crazy.

Five years later and I was right about both things. When he finally met Dorian, they're relationship grew quicker than George and I. Dorian had always slept through the night, and whenever George was around and it was late, he'd wake up, and George would always go into his room and rub his back and kiss him back to sleep (he would never admit to it in public, but I would stand at the door and watch him when he didn't know I was there.) George is the only father Dorian knows and the only one he cares about. George insisted on letting him know (even though he legally adopted Dorian and changed his last name), but Dorian just shrugged it off, and said okay whatever and continued at whatever task he was working on.

We decided to have our wedding on our four year anniversary. George's dream was to marry someone after dating for only 4 years, my desire was to only date for 2 years, because realistically if your eyes are wide open, you should know within 1 year the next year should be spent planning. At 2 years, I was certainly not ready. Although I loved George, I was so scared to commit I kept looking for reasons to run. So I said okay, how about year 3, let's compromise and split the difference. 3 years rolled around quick, I was still gun shy, but Dorian was 4 and what was I really waiting on. So one morning a few months after our 3rd year anniversary we woke up one morning, looked at each other and said "today, yeah let's do it." Dressed in jeans and T-shirts with my best friend as our witness and our five year old telling us (quoting a Tyler Perry movie he had recently seen) "don't do it, don't do it" while the county clerked couldn't stop laughing, we did it. We said I do, and told no one! Not because we didn't want them to share in the moment, but because the moment became an intimate treasure between us and our commitment to one another before God. We later shared during our wedding day, as that was the celebration we wanted everyone to be involved.

We are amazingly private people about our businesses and private life, but if I don't talk to you, my readers, who else can I share with? I find that some information that is shared can be useful to helping others, if not therapy for the writers soul. There is nothing ordinary about life, it's just the lenses you are looking through to view it. If things are fuzzy and dull, clean the lenses and enjoy the brilliant colors and amazing moments!

Back on Orders

So you can probably guess from the title of this entry what this post is about. George is a US Marine Reservist (as most of you already know), and he has been recalled to orders for a one year period of time. His duty station is almost 100 miles away from home, so he stays on base during the week and is only home on the weekends. Besides it being a challenge to run our businesses, it is difficult to raise our six year old son and continue to go to school. I'm also human and I miss my husband when he's gone. I've always said it takes a special woman to be a military spouse, and I'm always up for the challenge. It gives us an opportunity to miss one another. George will have served 20 years in the Marines in February, and in order to further advance his military career he needs a certain amount of time on active duty. There are also certain benefits that come along with being on active duty. Because he has gone back on active duty, our home in Georgia will remain ours. The bank was not willing to do a Deed in Lieu, nor are they willing to modify the loan. We have solicited the assistance of a military attorney (who is free to active duty military persons) to work with the bank so that we can lower the monthly payments. There is a lot of work to be done in 2010, and I'm creating a list now so that I do not become overwhelmed with the big picture.

First we plan to enlarge our family. Yes (for those who personally know me), I did just say we plan to have more children. With the assistance of IVF, we plan to have twins this upcoming year. This will conclude our family. I have scheduled a consultation for next month, which means if we get started in February as we plan, I will spend part of my pregnancy mostly alone while George is away on orders.
Second I plan to continue growing our businesses, mainly Orangeview Family Services and OFS Consulting. There is a major event that I have been wanting to launch with Orangeview that will take place in 2010. I am still attempting to solidify some guests, but as soon as I lock their schedule in, I will give you more information.

Third, I'm still going to school, and will continue until I have acquired my doctorate degree.
Fourth, George and I are looking to purchase 35 acres in Perris, as well as 244 acres in Mississippi. With the 35 acres in Perris we will build our home on 20 acres, and the other 15 acre parcel will be used for commercial purposes.

Finally, but certainly not last, I will continue to grow and work in ministry at Purpose Center International Ministries in Perris, CA, where I am the Chief Administrative Officer. It's enough to make anyone overwhelmed, but now is the time to get it all done. The first thing I've put off in the past in having more children and school, as they seem to be commitments I can get to later, however the older I get kids can no longer be put off, and in order to further our businesses it's important for personal development through higher education.

Our recent vacation to Mississippi was a two fold trip. One we took some time off and away together before he went back on orders, and two we had a meeting with his family regarding the purchase of 244 acres for the development of a family farm. Our personal goal is to work our tails off now, and semi retire early (I say semi because we would both go nuts if we had nothing to do all day). George will be able to pull his military retirement by the end of next year (and he will only be 38 years old), but he will postpone pulling it until a later date, allowing for career advancement and a higher pension.
I'm having to get used to him not being here again, and it's been difficult nights getting to sleep. I'll get back into the swing of things, and I'll be able to refocus on all that we will get done next year. Thank God for his guidance, or how else would we get all this accomplished.