A sad world

There have been many cases that have sparked outrage in the African American community, but this case is not just about racism (though it sadly is included in this case), this is a human issue. Americans everywhere have been affected by this tragedy. Some have suggested that had he not been wearing a hoodie, he would not have been singled out. However on a cold evening, if not a hoodie, would a beanie and jacket made him less threatening as a young black male? How about a baseball cap? Give me an idea of what head attire would have been suitable for warmth on a young black male that would make him less "gangsta" and I'll be a believer. The sad fact is, that in 2012, I still have to teach my son that no matter what he wears, ignorant people still exist in the world who want to harm him. The look on my sons face when I explained to him there is still this type of evil and hatred in the world was one I'll never forget. I felt I had taken another piece of his innocence and childhood away that I would have much rather stayed intact, but that would be far more dangerous for him.
For years I bought into the idea that if I wore my hair natural, dressed a certain way that would deem me as "too ethnic", I would not be positioned for success. 32 years of relaxers (and I'm only 34) in my hair has left my scalp seriously damaged and my hair brittle, lifeless and falling out. I left my torn jeans and colorful clothes back in my college days. I have faced many health challenges over the years that medical professionals could not explain. Several attempts at leaving behind processed hair, unnatural and processed foods had left me feeling much better, but my understanding of the society we live in would not allow me to completely make the switch. Years ago, my best friend decided to jump ship and be her natural self, another person commented about the state of my friends singleness by stating she was "too ethnic." My best friend has hair down her back (which is all natural), is a home owner, has two master's degree and a great career, and she's accomplished it all by simply being herself. The fact of the matter is I don't have straight hair. I don't wear a size 6, I attend church on Sunday's, I'm Black, I like country music and think Blake Shelton is cute, I married a Black man who I think the world of, I ride motorcycles and drive trucks, I would rather go to a shooting range than pick flowers and I'm okay with who I am. I refuse to believe that if my son wears a hoodie on a cold night that he deserves to be shot and killed for walking in a gated neighborhood (that we may very well live in). I refuse to believe that someone's ignorance is a cause to live our lives in fear.
I remember a warm day on the lawn at San Francisco State University when I was approached by a young Korean man. He wanted to attend UCLA, but in fear of Blacks in Los Angeles, his parents would not allow him to attend. We sat discussing our differences, but mostly our similarities. I wanted to eliminate his fear, and he wanted me to know they existed. We both missed our classes to sit and talk. Unfortunately conversations are not always easy when a gun is shoved in your back while you are pinned face down on the ground wondering what you did wrong. We mock third world countries for their universal healthcare, and their lack of freedom. For their ability to consume less. For their lack of obesity and preventable health problems. But when young men are killed and nothing is done about it, who is really the third world county? When is being who you are a crime? When someone else fears you. Face your fears, and eliminate them.