So you can probably guess from the title of this entry, we didn't really hash out our last issue. So how the heck do you move on instead of harboring ill feelings? Certainly there are times where I would like to go for a long walk in the middle of the night with all my belongings while I leave the gas on the stove on after blowing out the pilot light, but that would be illegal (I'm certain there are other reasons as well not to do this, however they escape me right now.) It has been witnessed by others (both friends and family) that occasionally George gets in a mood where to call him a @#$hole is being nice. He then realizes he's been a prick to me and then spends several weeks attempting to make up for his wrong doing. I'm a big believer in not doing stupid stuff to have to apologize for, however not everyone (including the man I married) abides by the same creed.
Take a good look at your relationship, you'll notice there is a peacekeeper and a fighter. If you haven't already assessed this, it's simple to do. Who does most of the apologizing? Who does most of the sacrificing? Please don't use this as an opportunity to create a list that will push you over the edge and set the house on fire with your spouse still in it. This may be a little painful, may make you angry, all that is acceptable, just don't act on that anger. Certainly if you are the peacekeeper, you have been the glue in your relationship and at times you feel unappreciated and are worn out from your role in the relationship. The fighter has pushed some buttons that have left you bleeding like an open wound. Only you can determine if there is anything left worth saving, if you are married, you owe it to yourself and your spouse to give everything a try.
So now that you've discovered you are the glue in the relationship, or you're the fighter, what are you going to do now. If you realize marriage is not 50/50, it's 100% on both halves. If you strive to only get a 50% on a test, guess what, you've failed. When you love like it's never gonna hurt, you place yourself in a vulnerable position. We approach our relationships with others with resistance. Each act we perform for them is based on how they've treated us, what's been reciprocated to us, and the old 1980-something anthem of most of us "what have you done for me lately." We never think about loving others on credit. Christians are required to for others as unto Christ. This means you care for others because of God, not because they deserve it. Yet recently I have heard more "so called" Christians complain about what they have done for others and how it has not been reciprocated, as to be waiting on people to bless them instead of God (but that's a whole other tangent). The best way to receive love is simply to be a loving person. So what became of our failed date night, nothing. It was never discussed, I never received closure or an explanation. Love doesn't need any of that, it just is. Either you're going to give it or not. Try remaining silent sometimes, and see where that gets you. The fighter has no fight without an opponent. If you're the fighter, stop being selfish and think of your spouse, if your the peacekeeper do your job and maintain peace without becoming the fighter's opponent. Life is too short to spend angry all the time. Your health could be impacted negatively from such stress. Don't let anything cause you to have a heart attack, take control of your own happiness and let go of all the drama.
Take a good look at your relationship, you'll notice there is a peacekeeper and a fighter. If you haven't already assessed this, it's simple to do. Who does most of the apologizing? Who does most of the sacrificing? Please don't use this as an opportunity to create a list that will push you over the edge and set the house on fire with your spouse still in it. This may be a little painful, may make you angry, all that is acceptable, just don't act on that anger. Certainly if you are the peacekeeper, you have been the glue in your relationship and at times you feel unappreciated and are worn out from your role in the relationship. The fighter has pushed some buttons that have left you bleeding like an open wound. Only you can determine if there is anything left worth saving, if you are married, you owe it to yourself and your spouse to give everything a try.
So now that you've discovered you are the glue in the relationship, or you're the fighter, what are you going to do now. If you realize marriage is not 50/50, it's 100% on both halves. If you strive to only get a 50% on a test, guess what, you've failed. When you love like it's never gonna hurt, you place yourself in a vulnerable position. We approach our relationships with others with resistance. Each act we perform for them is based on how they've treated us, what's been reciprocated to us, and the old 1980-something anthem of most of us "what have you done for me lately." We never think about loving others on credit. Christians are required to for others as unto Christ. This means you care for others because of God, not because they deserve it. Yet recently I have heard more "so called" Christians complain about what they have done for others and how it has not been reciprocated, as to be waiting on people to bless them instead of God (but that's a whole other tangent). The best way to receive love is simply to be a loving person. So what became of our failed date night, nothing. It was never discussed, I never received closure or an explanation. Love doesn't need any of that, it just is. Either you're going to give it or not. Try remaining silent sometimes, and see where that gets you. The fighter has no fight without an opponent. If you're the fighter, stop being selfish and think of your spouse, if your the peacekeeper do your job and maintain peace without becoming the fighter's opponent. Life is too short to spend angry all the time. Your health could be impacted negatively from such stress. Don't let anything cause you to have a heart attack, take control of your own happiness and let go of all the drama.
