Don't Stress Over Their Mess!

June 1st, the day of my last post, I received a phone call from my mother's husband Kevin. Apparently my mother had spent about $600 of their $700 rent. In previous months we had wired them $500 for their rent, as they were short during Kevin's job transition. My mother lives in Arizona, and had no desire to move back to California. Although they have no family remaining in Arizona, and my mother was born and raised in California, she remains adamant about staying there. When I received the call, I knew what they were looking for, however Kevin suggested another solution, they move in with us. Did I ever mention our ranch house is only 3 bedrooms? When we moved here a little over a year ago, it was just the three of us, when the girls moved in, we were able to fit them into one room with a bunk bed and one twin. Our 3 bedroom is already busting at the seems with the six of us, and now we are adding 2 more adults, 2 dogs and 2 cats. I'm highly allergic to cats and furry dogs, yes you guessed it, their dogs are furry. I can not breathe around her animals, and risk hospitalization if I continue to remain in the same house as these animals.
My dogs Zeke & Luther (named after the tv show) are outside dogs. They are shepherd mixes and are very much able to handle the terrain, weather and wild animals. My mother feels it is cruel to animals to leave them outside, where George and I agree that we don't care for inside animals. I have informed them they will have to make arrangements for their animals. Thanksgiving 2008 my mother slept in her car with her animals because I refused to allow them to come in the house. It was cold, and raining, but she said her dogs were not used to sleeping without her. Yes, it is as crazy as it sounds, but you must understand, my mother is mentally ill and is medicated to remain "normal." Her doctor as deemed her animals as "therapy dogs." The solution we came up with was for me to drive to AZ, rent a u-haul car dolly and tow Kevin's car with all their belongings and animals back to CA. Then have my rv (which is currently in storage with several flat tires from non use) towed back to our house (I have rv connections located at the back of my house) where my mother, her husband and animals can reside. I discovered it is $250 just to have my rv towed, and you guessed it right again, I'm paying for this all.
George and I came up with a better solution. Fly there, get them, tell them to find some place for their animals and store their belongings until later, and let that be that. A one way ticket to AZ was $148, so I came up with a better solution. I will pay to have my rv towed, and they will have to figure out how to get here. Since when is the burden on me to financially support two adults, when I have four kids to take care of? There are due in any day now, but I have decided to wait until Tuesday to have the rv towed (when George is back home from military training), just in case there are any glitches. Their dogs will have to either stay in their car, or be subjected to the harsh environment where coyotes, bobcats, rabbits and my dogs reside. This solution is the least stressful for me, and that is what seemed to matter most.

24 Hours in a day

It has been a moment since I have taken the time to update you on how the Joneses are handling life these days. So many things have found me to fill up my day, I am recently questioning if there are in fact only 24 hours in one day. I had the opportunity to have a heart to heart conversation with the girls this evening. The oldest, who turned 9 on May 22, asked me if their mother was ever going to get her life together to take them back. I told her whether her mother did or not, George and I are committed to raising them and sending them to college just as they were our own children. I told her we were in no rush for her and her sisters to leave, and while it was a serious change and challenge going from one child to four over night, we wouldn't change anything about our decision. Didi (the 9 year old) often asked me questions that require thought. I've recently taken on the responsibility of taking care of my 81 year old aunt. She is completely bed ridden, and cannot do much for herself. The small things she is able to do for herself, she often chooses not to do them. Though I can certainly understand the psychological disappointment she faces being bed ridden, it often is troublesome to me. So today my responsibilities still include four children, my husband (or better yet, my duties as a wife), my commitment to the ministry where I serve, my business, my aunt, and new job and somewhere in there myself. 

Didi, who doesn't say much but is extremely observant, asked me if it was hard to take care of my aunt and do all the things that I do, she also asked why I made a big deal over my husband's birthday, and he didn't do that on my birthday. I attempt to be as honest as I can with the children, but she has made up in her mind that she doesn't want the responsibility of marriage and children. While I try to express to her the joy that comes with the challenge, unfortunately my words don't shadow the reality of the weight of the responsibility. I want her to be happy, and to experience marriage and children when is ready, but I feel that my temporary disappearing act leaves her to desire more as an independent person. I desire more. Over the recent weeks George and I have not been on speaking terms, we've been on fussing terms, but in a desire to regain peace in our house, we've gotten back to our place of zen. There were days where I literally felt like packing up and leaving. I spent nights crying and praying. It seemed that the more I prayed the worst things would get. I then started going the extra mile. If George was hungry, I made his favorite meal. If he wanted take out, I went out of the way to go to his favorite restaurant. I became whatever he wanted in the bed. After a week of pouring out and receiving nothing for my troubles, I begin to see a little light at the end of the tunnel, and finally day break.

My relationship with God keeps me from jumping off the deep end. It gives me strength to do all the tasks I have to complete. It keeps my mouth in control from telling people what I really want to say, and it gives me peace that guards my heart and mind beyond even my own understanding. So while I haven't determined how I manage to get everything done in only 24 hours, I have determined that everything doesn't need to get done immediately and my family is still the most important thing of all.