It has been a trying couple of months. I drive an average of 1,300 miles per week for work, Dorian is in playing baseball and only has two days per week off so at the end of the day I am extremely tired. George is on my last nerve because he is on one behind this government shutdown which has halted any activity or payment for reservist. Some weeks I go days without talking to him. He doesn't help out around the house (even though he is home all day most days), he doesn't take Dorian to his practices or games (in fact most times he finds something to tinker with around the house and doesn't show up at all, if he does it's late), and he's sleeping more often. I notice these are all signs of depression, but there is no reasoning with him these days about relaxing. As if I'm not stressed enough, work has been more than challenging as we are switching over to a new delivery method for assessments. This past Wednesday I had to take a day trip to Sacramento to a state conference on the new computer based delivery method for the GED exam. It's a huge hassle with a lot of unknowns because just like any other branch of the government, the state of CA has waited until the last minute to negotiate contracts and figure out how this process will work. To top it all off, they didn't consider one of their major clients, correctional facilities. Certainly it is stressful enough administering exams to jail inmates while I sit in a room locked in with this inmate and no one watching. There have been a few coworkers that have been giving me grief over the new delivery method (as if it's my decision to change the format of a nationwide exam), and due to stress I have begin swelling again. I am in the middle of lab testing to determine if I will be diagnosed with Hereditary Angioadema (HAE). For years I've dealt with swelling of the face, hands, feet abdomen and a few times my esophagus. It can be extremely painful depending on what body part swells up. I have not had any outbreaks in 10 years, and I really was excited to know I was over it, but my abdomen started swelling (which feels like someone is wringing out your stomach and causes nausea, vomiting and other side effects) and I didn't figure it out until my lip swelled and then my foot.
Current events make for enough stress without my husband acting like a jack ass! Reasoning with him doesn't work and since he seems to want to e-mail me, rather than speaking to me, I've decided to stop wasting my breath altogether on talking to him. We've been broke before, so what is the big deal with him now. After spending some time with my friend Robin, we contemplated the issue of me making more money than him is unsettling for him. George and I have spoken about this scenario before, but at the time he was making more than me. He said it wouldn't bother him, who cared it's just money and we are one, but he never intended on having to eat those words. Dorian joked about him being a "house husband" and he didn't find it funny at all. He is so wrapped up in typical male and female roles, that he can't lift a finger to wash clothes or dishes. I'm really at my wits end, and something is going to have to change soon. I now realize why he didn't support me in business (because I was making too much money), why he allows me to run around attempting to get everything done on my own (so that I will break and give something up) and I'm not enjoying this version of him. Everyday in marriage is a lesson, and I pray we learn whatever lesson we're supposed to learn immediately so that we never have to repeat this test again. If I start cooking grits and frying chicken at the same time, start a collection for my bail money.
Current events make for enough stress without my husband acting like a jack ass! Reasoning with him doesn't work and since he seems to want to e-mail me, rather than speaking to me, I've decided to stop wasting my breath altogether on talking to him. We've been broke before, so what is the big deal with him now. After spending some time with my friend Robin, we contemplated the issue of me making more money than him is unsettling for him. George and I have spoken about this scenario before, but at the time he was making more than me. He said it wouldn't bother him, who cared it's just money and we are one, but he never intended on having to eat those words. Dorian joked about him being a "house husband" and he didn't find it funny at all. He is so wrapped up in typical male and female roles, that he can't lift a finger to wash clothes or dishes. I'm really at my wits end, and something is going to have to change soon. I now realize why he didn't support me in business (because I was making too much money), why he allows me to run around attempting to get everything done on my own (so that I will break and give something up) and I'm not enjoying this version of him. Everyday in marriage is a lesson, and I pray we learn whatever lesson we're supposed to learn immediately so that we never have to repeat this test again. If I start cooking grits and frying chicken at the same time, start a collection for my bail money.
