I am often offended by the use of "shut up", but it seems at times that it is the best way to express how urgent the the moment requires one's complete and absolute silence. After being with George for going on 9 years, I find myself internally screaming to myself to to do just that, "shut up." This self conversation has sometimes been expressed externally, and now I have to reel it back in, as I find myself telling George and Dorian sometimes (as he really hasn't learned how not to express everything that comes to his mind) to comply with this urgent need for silence. Although the words came from an unknown comedian I was listening to on an AM talk radio station, they were none the wiser. He was expressing that he was into his third marriage and he was finally learning the address the three questions every married person should ask themselves when communicating with their spouse.
#1 Does this (whatever it may be) need to be said?
#2 Does this need to be said now?
#3 Does this need to be said by me?
Sometimes it seems the only thing George asks himself in the morning is, "is my voice working" because everything that happens to fall out of his mouth during the day seem to be off basis, unnecessary, and annoying. I've had to learn to curve my verbal responses in our relationship (someone had to) or this blog would have a different title, something like "Loving Living Single" has a nice ring to it. I have started asking these questions about the things George says to me (you didn't really think I'd start with myself did you, that would require me to admit that I'm wrong, and well...we all know that's not possible. LOL), and I find that 98% of his comments don't get pass the first requirement, and don't need to be said at all. After a week of listening to him, I've found that on the things I truly want to say in response to him, are not necessary, so I edit myself (man has that been hard). If we could all just ask these questions when talking to anyone, we would find that most of the words we speak to others are words that build them up, not tear them down. Sometimes we just need to shut up and wait before speaking, wouldn't a little silence be nice?
#1 Does this (whatever it may be) need to be said?
#2 Does this need to be said now?
#3 Does this need to be said by me?
Sometimes it seems the only thing George asks himself in the morning is, "is my voice working" because everything that happens to fall out of his mouth during the day seem to be off basis, unnecessary, and annoying. I've had to learn to curve my verbal responses in our relationship (someone had to) or this blog would have a different title, something like "Loving Living Single" has a nice ring to it. I have started asking these questions about the things George says to me (you didn't really think I'd start with myself did you, that would require me to admit that I'm wrong, and well...we all know that's not possible. LOL), and I find that 98% of his comments don't get pass the first requirement, and don't need to be said at all. After a week of listening to him, I've found that on the things I truly want to say in response to him, are not necessary, so I edit myself (man has that been hard). If we could all just ask these questions when talking to anyone, we would find that most of the words we speak to others are words that build them up, not tear them down. Sometimes we just need to shut up and wait before speaking, wouldn't a little silence be nice?
