I read a poster in one of my high school classes years ago that said everything important I needed to learn in life, I learned it in kindergarten. Things like sharing, friendliness, respect for others, etc. Being that I attended kindergarten in the early 80's, the poster was accurate (although today it may read differently and would have focused on developmentally inappropriate items for 5 year olds such as reading novels and doing long division). But the older we get, and the more we experience heart ache and disappointment, we close ourselves off to sharing, caring and even friendliness. Sometimes it takes an act of God to knock us back into reality of how we are to treat one another.
This is especially true in marriage. It is not natural to care for others the way we are expected to care for our spouse. Don't believe me, when a child has an issue does he cry to get your attention to fix the problem or is he concerned about your day? Some of us have to learn how to treat our husbands/wives. The Joneses are no exception to the rule. George and I come from single parent families, and have had to rely on life lessons, previously failed relationships, and other people's examples of how to become good spouses. Every day is a training process that we willing enter into (okay most days we're willing). Nightly family prayer keeps us in the mind frame that we have to work towards being happy with ourselves and one another. If we are upset for whatever reason, it must end at the end of the night when we join hands and pray as a family (which is a bonus for us both because this means we can only stay mad at each other for a maximum of 12 hours). This has been the single most important thing we have ever done for our marriage. It opened our eyes to becoming more unified, as opposed to worrying about our own selfish needs. Our daily frustrations are no longer projected onto one another, but laid down at the end of the night during prayer. We realize that our relationship sets the foundation of what Dorian will grow up to pursue. If we set a terrible example, it could potentially ruin him for his future wife and family. Family is no easy task, and marriage and children can be extremely difficult, especially when you are still attempting to pursue your own life's visions. But building your relationship on a solid foundation helps to keep you steady when the world starts shaking around you. Perhaps we did learn some valuable lessons in kindergarten, but what good are they if we never apply them to today? Life is challenging enough, and home should be your place of zen, where you are able to plug in and recharge. It may be cliche, but change does start within. Not happy, do something about it.
This is especially true in marriage. It is not natural to care for others the way we are expected to care for our spouse. Don't believe me, when a child has an issue does he cry to get your attention to fix the problem or is he concerned about your day? Some of us have to learn how to treat our husbands/wives. The Joneses are no exception to the rule. George and I come from single parent families, and have had to rely on life lessons, previously failed relationships, and other people's examples of how to become good spouses. Every day is a training process that we willing enter into (okay most days we're willing). Nightly family prayer keeps us in the mind frame that we have to work towards being happy with ourselves and one another. If we are upset for whatever reason, it must end at the end of the night when we join hands and pray as a family (which is a bonus for us both because this means we can only stay mad at each other for a maximum of 12 hours). This has been the single most important thing we have ever done for our marriage. It opened our eyes to becoming more unified, as opposed to worrying about our own selfish needs. Our daily frustrations are no longer projected onto one another, but laid down at the end of the night during prayer. We realize that our relationship sets the foundation of what Dorian will grow up to pursue. If we set a terrible example, it could potentially ruin him for his future wife and family. Family is no easy task, and marriage and children can be extremely difficult, especially when you are still attempting to pursue your own life's visions. But building your relationship on a solid foundation helps to keep you steady when the world starts shaking around you. Perhaps we did learn some valuable lessons in kindergarten, but what good are they if we never apply them to today? Life is challenging enough, and home should be your place of zen, where you are able to plug in and recharge. It may be cliche, but change does start within. Not happy, do something about it.
